(Grieving for the loss of who I was.)
The 5 stages of grief
DENIAL: At this stage I am unwilling to accept the truth. "I will soon awaken and it will all have been a dream - this is not happening to me - I can still dance, do my work, chase my children."
ANGER: I feel angry and may need to opportion blame. "Why me?" (in an angry voice) "It is there fault, they did .... , it made me stressed and that made me sick"
BARGAINING: "Maybe this will work. If I try this diet, remedy, religion etc and I will feel better and maybe it might even go away"
DEPRESSION: "I feel I cannot cope, there is no hope, it is all too much, there is no one who cares and no way out"
ACCEPTANCE: "I don't like what is happening but I have some level of acceptance - I can get on with my new life, it is a different life and I can cope."
I don't hold to the idea that we work through these stages in a linear way. I go back and repeat some of the stages sometimes on a daily level. That is what it is like for me dealing with chronic pain.
I think when I started this blog I may have been in angry denial - this is not my disease, take it away, I do not want it. It sounds like it could also be acceptance - that I do have a disease but it will not define me.
We are all a work in progress.
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